im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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