It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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