Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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