There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
