Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
