no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
i barfeds in our rink
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
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