She said her name was "party"
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
