my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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