a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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