i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
