I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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