well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
