WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
