Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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