is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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