I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I have aggressive nipples.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
