I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
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