They should really pass out barf bags in church
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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