We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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