i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
