Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
