I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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