don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
