1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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