lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
