I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
