i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
