so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
