Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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