Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
