Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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