I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Bring me that man meat
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
