whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
