yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize