My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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