You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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