sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
