I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
The air taste purple.
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