I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
