Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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