Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize