On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
