There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
