he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
me + whiskey = a bad person
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
