what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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