but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Randomize
