Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
