I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Randomize
