What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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