Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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