i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
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