Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
