we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
