This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
