I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
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