If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
