ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Randomize
