clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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