And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
why is half of my head shaved?
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